Through A Candle's Flame
by AJFilewood
Summary: What happens after the death of the man you love? And in the face of the myriad of possibilities, is it possible that somehow, somewhere love remains? AU
1. Chapter 1

Title: Through A Candle's Flame

By: Angeicalangie

Rating: PG

Email: Romance, Angst, Action

Disclaimer: All character and anything that comes from Stargate is property of MGM, and companies affiliated with the production of Stargate SG1 trademark and copyright infringement is not intended. This piece of fic is meant for entertainment purposes only and since I am a student it is a lot pointless to sue me!

Summary: What happens after the death of the man you love? And in the face of the myriad of possibilities, is it possible that somehow, somewhere love remains?

Spoilers: Divide and Conquer

Through a Candle's Flame

Chapter One

Sitting on the dunes of Vorash Sam Carter found some measure of serenity, deeply breathing in the dry warmth of the air she relaxed into a gentle slumber. The stress of the past weeks of missions and planning of the coming treaty had finally taken its toll on Sam. Sure she hadn't had anything to do with the actual planning of the meeting, but she had been there for Daniel when he had hit loggerheads with the writing of the treaty. Until recently.

Martouf, looking for relaxation from the negotiations of petty trivialities of both side walked away from the rings. He stretched his toned body and closed his eyes for a moment, while Lantash lay silently resting within him, Martouf had been up all night working out the ever increasing details. Sighing, he decided to burn up some of his frustrations with a brisk walk.

Lantash stirred within him, so finally we are away from the idiocy of politics then 

Yes Lantash we are Martouf replied, amused.

And about time too, I was almost asleep Lantash returned grumpily.

Thank you Lantash

Martouf? Isn't that a body over there? Lantash's voice was sharp in his enquiry.

Martouf's breathing stopped for a moment. Could the Goa'uld have found Vorash? Racing towards the prone figure, he realized it was Sam, tears appeared in his eyes, No, Not her, please no He thought, his anxiety over-ruling his common sense for a moment.

Calm down, she is breathing, she's asleep Martouf Lantash quickly assured him.

Martouf hit the ground on his knees expelling a breath of air held for far too long. Awaking slowly Sam turned, moaned and opened her eyes to see Martouf bending over her, his expression one of relief.

Exerting his will over Martouf, Lantash asked, "Are you alright? Martouf believed you were dead and he did not wait to see if you were breathing."

There are times I hate you Lantash! Martouf fumed at his symbiote.

As Jacob says,' suck it up' 

Moving to sit up Sam stared at Martouf, noticing the dampness where unbidden tears had flowed and Sam's heart jumped in her breast. Raising a hand to dry his cheeks, she smiled almost seductively at him.

Martouf stared at her and grasped her hand and kissed it. Sam grinned wolfishly, and reaching out she grabbed the front of his tunic, pulled him to her and kissed him deeply.

Suddenly conflicts she had for a while passed into obscurity and the deep feelings from Jolinar and her own melded and merged as she realized that her crush on Jack was misplaced feelings for the man in her arms.

Pulling apart Martouf looked in her eyes. "You were distracted earlier. I saw you looking at Colonel O'Neill" He stroked her face and Sam sighed.

"I thought I had feelings for the Colonel, I was wrong." She stroked his cheek,

"Isn't it time we got back to work?" Martouf's face fell.

"Will you have dinner with me; there is much I wish to talk about." Martouf look earnestly into Sam's eyes.

"Certainly, I think there is much I need to know." Sam said slowly rising to with Martouf; they kissed again, thinking of the future.

"So are you ready?" Anise's voice penetrates the obvious reverie of things past and hesitantly Sam sits down in the chair.

"So tell us of the events as you remember them after the point at which you were trapped behind the forcefeild."

"Well, I remember watching the Colonel trying to deactivate the force field, he was using brute force to open a panel, he looked angry and frustrated. Almost in pain.

"I had been feeling a lot of mixed feeling towards the Colonel for quite a long time. I knew the desperate measures he was taking were because he felt a lot more than he was, by regulations, allowed and I realized that much as I cared for him, it wasn't to the point of desperation. I felt saddened, and a little relieved. The only thing I could think of was Martouf." Sam left off notably quieter than she had started, and seemingly hesitant.

"Why were you thinking of Martouf, Major Carter?" Anise said warily.

"Because for a very long time, since I met him really, I have felt a deep feeling for him. At first I thought it was because I had been host for Jolinar for a brief time, but I now know that isn't the case."

"And you know this how?"

"Because things have progressed, between Martouf and me, beyond that of friendship." Sam said cringing inwardly, she hadn't wanted to reveal that so early on. Jack's face fell, betraying his feelings. Anise's face had grown hard, near angry looking.

"You also are not a Zatarc." Anise finally said, her voice tinged with a form of regret.

Jack moved across the room and helped Carter out of the chair. "Sir, None of this has to leave this room."

"We're okay with that?" Jack replied, feeling somewhat relieved that he didn't have to go down the dinner dissimilation of what had happened and of the hurt he felt.

"Yes, sir."

"Every SGC personnel has been tested, Even the High councilor and his personal guard were tested on Vorash before they came." Anise said finally.

"Hey, what about you? You ever been tested on that thing?" Jack said, he just didn't trust a being with a snake in them damn what Carter did with Marty.

"I have not been in any situations where I would be vulnerable to the Goa'uld Zatarc technology." _Damn, _Jack thought_, The girl with a snake had an answer for everything._

"What about Martouf?" The air got decidedly thicker. And Sam, as she spoke the fateful words she felt unease, they should have checked Martouf, what had they done?.

"We did not feel the need to test him. We had found you." _And number one on the top ten reasons to never trust a snakehead _Jack thought, _sloppy workmanship._

Running down the hallways of the SGC Sam felt time dilate; she didn't think she would make it in time to save him. A plume of dust shot into the corridor and suddenly Sam's worst fears were realized she turned the corner and found anyone with a weapon shooting at the man she had only just realized she loved.

"Hold your fire!" She screamed at them praying someone wasn't trigger happy that day.

"Samantha." The look in his eyes pleading, tears welling up, his hand rising up to complete the mission and commit suicide. The unspoken please, to stop the pain he was feeling, unknowing whether it was physical or emotional. He wanted to feel nothing. He wanted to be preserved, so that others may not have to suffer like this. His only hope was the woman he loved.

She didn't want to; slowly she leveled her arm with the Zat in hand. Teal'c had already fired one shot; he knew this would ultimately end his life. She didn't want to do this. Everything in her screamed that she couldn't accept her heart. Her heart told her to end his life, and give him back the dignity he had had ripped from him.

She fired.

He slumped to the ground, prone. He looked asleep. She ran to him and gathered him in her arms tears flooded down her face unchecked or noticed. Silence reigned supreme.

"I promise you, his death will ultimately prove to be a noble sacrifice." She was upset too, Anise, she obviously had something going on deep down for him too. Now Sam understood why she had been so cold to her after she had admitted the developments between herself and Martouf, jealousy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two.

She entered the darkened building on PX9 697 and lit a candle for him she thought of the first and last time they had kissed. Everything had felt so right, the future had seemed endless in possibilities and yet again the Goa'uld had stepped in and left her bereft.

"Is there specific significance to the lighting of a candle on the anniversary of my death?" The voice asked,

"It represents the spark of life that is your memory." She replied, not believing that the voice had come from anywhere but her mind.

"But this holds you back, whilst you attempt to move forward. Are you not seeing someone?" The innocence of the voice, calmly asking left a tear on Sam's check.

"I loved you as soon as I saw you. It took too damn long for me to acknowledge it. When I did, there was barely any time for us." Regret tinged her voice another tear trickled down her face. He moved closer to her and a hand placed itself on her shoulder. She could feel him.

Rising fast and spinning around, she turned and saw him as he had been the morning of their kiss. Alive and well. Confusion colored her face and he patiently stared at her.

"What, How is this possible? You died!" Her words were tinged with anger now, someone had lied to her, and they must have.

"I met the gate builders." He replied simply.

"You ascended?" But she had held him in her arms as he was dying.

"After you shot me, I was left between life and death. After Anise performed her… autopsy?"" He faltered on the word, and Sam nodded. "After her autopsy, I was contacted by a woman who said she could show me the way to help others, but that I had to be willing. I was, and so I 'ascended' as you put it."

Sam sat heavily on the pew of the old Celtic style church. Stunned and shocked.

"I thought you knew. I do remember mentioning it to Dr, Jackson." The puzzlement in his voice showed.

Hey Sam!" Jacks voice disturbed the peace, "No time for sitting around, come on!" Sam turned to Jack in a daze and turned back to Martouf, he was gone.

"Yes, sir. Coming." Distractedly she gathered her things together, got up and left the building, looking over her shoulder as she did.

"I would love to stay here, this place is fascinating, it shows just how developed the Celtic Christians were and that papal intervention wasn't needed." Daniel's voice carried with excitement.

"Is it ever?" Jack's acerbic reply retorted. "Well campers, it is time to head on back, our time is up."

"Wait!" The voice of the towns elder rang through the crowd that had obviously come together to bid farewell to their new friends. "We wish to give you each a gift." Ha came running in a rolling gait befitting some one of his large size and joviality, he was as Daniel had put it vaguely reminiscent of Santa. "To thee the learned one, we bequeath thee a book of traditions, it is hand copied by everyone in the town at least once within their lives.

"To thee the warrior, an archer's bow made from the strongest materials, may it never falter. To thee, the jovial one, a jester's cap." As he was about to give jack the cap he placed it on his head, Daniel grinned and Teal'c looking up from his archer's bow with a raised eyebrow and a slight smile.

"And to thee the maiden Warrior, we bequeath thee a gown of the finest materials. Who was the young man you were conversing with this past hour?" Sam's jaw dropped and the rest of the team stared at Sam.

"Something you would like to tell us Sam." Jack said in his usual teasing manner.

"I saw Martouf." Her tone was level; she really didn't know what to make of it. It was still far too early for her to feel anything but shock.

"He's dead, Sam has been for three years." Jack said calmly

"Dammit, I knew I had forgotten something!" Daniel exclaimed. All heads turned to him. "Well, hello, I had amnesia, remember? I didn't know my own name for a few months let alone some of the details. I'm sorry Sam; I forgot that Martouf is an ascended being."

"What!" Jack shouted. The crowd of townsfolk that had gathered closely around them all took a step back startled. "That slimy snakehead hadn't had long enough to live he had to get a second chance!" The anger in Jack's voice was palpable.

"The snake was Lantash, not Martouf." Sam said tersely.

"And the difference was! He was part of the Tok'ra, they aren't our Allies anymore, and they don't keep their promises!"

"It isn't like Martouf had anything to do with that, neither did my father or his symbiote." Sam was getting more and more angry. "Look lets just be polite thank the kind people and go home." Sam said beginning to get uncomfortable with the townsfolk staring at her.

"Ok." Jack said quietly chastened that she had to take charge of him. They thanked them and the townsfolk smiled gently at them.

The bitter chill of the wormhole enveloped them chilling them to the bone. The ride smoother than it had been in a long time. They stepped out of the wormhole and jack dropped his things on the ground before he had left the ramp, gate closing behind them.

"Sir, we need to get Carter seen to, she still thinks the Tok'ra are still our friends."

"Sir, that isn't true, we just met an ascended one." Sam glared at Jack.

"An Ascended Tok'ra? People, can we discuss this in a debriefing in an hour, until then pick up your things and move em out. Major Carter, Can I see you in my office in five minutes." The General turned and marched to his office.

An hour later and they all were sat in the conference room waiting for the general except Sam. When she walked in behind the general they noticed she had a poker face on.

"You can all sit down. I have been talking to Major Carter about her experience this afternoon with the ascended being. She doesn't feel he is doing any harm. In fact from what I know, don't these beings generally help others indirectly? Daniel? You are our most authoritative person on these matters." He looked at Daniel questioningly.

"Er, yes. From what I do remember we or rather the ascended ancients were pacifistic, but were willing to help what they would consider as lesser beings."

"Now see this is just something I don't believe. You never helped us in any way other than try to get me to ascend." Jack said heatedly.

"He kept me alive when I was sharing my symbiote with Bra'tac." Teal'c weighed in.

"And Daniel did help us when Anubis was threatening to wipe out Abydos." Sam added.

"They're all ascended!"

"That wasn't my doing. That was Oma Desala's interjection." Daniel said Quietly.

"As is Martouf's ascension." Sam added.

"People, let's just deal with what is at hand. Do we tell the Tok'ra?" General Hammond intoned.

"Why should we they aren't our allies, and there is nothing they can do." Jack said leaning back in his chair fiddling with the edge of the table.

"Reluctant as I am to agree with Jack in this subject he does raise a valid point, not to mention the High council already knows." Daniel said chagrined to tell them that their former allies had been keeping secrets for a long time and implying that General Carter had kept something from his own daughter.

"Now do you see why I don't trust these snake heads?" Jack exploded.

Sam sat nearest the end of the table, feeling like an observer of the action felt hurt and betrayed. For all the time that she had worked hard with the Tok'ra, every time she had seen her father they had lied, manipulated and kept secrets from her. Tears ran down her face and she ran out of the room and down the stairs.

Daniel found her in the locker room, sitting on the bench.

"Martouf believed that the Tok'ra had already told us about his ascension. He believed only a select few of us had ever been told, he believed that you had also been told." Daniel said. "I believe he must have been told that no one knew here and also that the Tau'ri/Tok'ra alliance has been forfeited."

"It just hurts to know that for so long even the one person I believed I could trust, lied about it. No wonder he wanted to know why I was lighting candles for him." She picked up someone's stray sneaker and threw it at the wall. "Damn them."

It was at that moment that the alert klaxon sounded and Sam wiped her eyes and ran for the gate room, there they met Jack and Teal'c.

"Sam, are you okay?" Jack quietly said concern edging into his voice. He had never stopped loving her, and was finally beginning to feel closer to her than he had for a while.

"Incoming traveler. Tok'ra IDC." The young man in charge of the Iris controls looked to the General. The general nodded his head.

"Let them through Lt." The words sounded reluctant. He was expecting something not so pleasant. Especially after being told what he had within the past half an hour.

Two Tok'ra walked down the ramp, Jacob Carter and Malek. Neither looked happy to be on Earth.

"Sam!" Jacob Said, happy to be seeing his daughter after what had happened the last time he was on Earth. Sam didn't move though and stayed rigidly at ease next to Jack. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see your old man?"

"Not particularly." Sam replied evenly, Jacob frowned, but let it go. Malek was the next to step up to the plate.

"General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter. We have come to tell you something, it would be best to do this privately." He looked uncomfortable. He expected a bad reaction.

"If you mean you are here to tell us that Martouf isn't entirely DEAD, we already know. He told us himself!" Jack said a little peevishly. Sam just stared accusingly at her father.

"I didn't know Sammy, they have only just gotten round to telling me." Sam just ground her teeth and looked dispassionately at him. She no longer trusted her father.

"There are also other things we need to tell you." Malek said.

"Just this way then gentlemen." General Hammond said evenly, when their backs were turned he waved a couple of SF's to follow, to stand guard.

Once seated at the conference table the atmosphere took a decidedly downward turn, the personnel of the SGC distrusted the Tok'ra and the Tok'ra knew they were going to be in for a lot of heated exchanges and anger.

"We have come to tell that one of our operative aboard Anubis's fleet has discovered a plan against the Tau'ri. His plan is to find a 'lost city' and use its arsenal against you." Malek stated before anyone was ready. The atmosphere got darker in the room.

TBC

(I admit so far as a very good friend pointed out that the Tok'ra are coming out the bad guys. But I am actually trying to bring them back into the fold after what happened in Death Knell)


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"And you just thought you would show up to what? Gloat perhaps?" Jack said his dislike of all things with snakes in them obvious in his voice. He turned his face away from them and looked at the General.

"We are not here to gloat. We thought it would be prudent to advise you of the situation. However, if the Colonels attitude is indicative of the people of Earth's opinions, then perhaps we shall leave you be until your inevitable demise." Malek said his fury barely contained. These people were children, yet they pursued their objectives with reckless abandon, and it would one day get them killed. He wanted to break something, and the way he felt it would preferably be of the Colonel's physiology.

"You would like that wouldn't you. No more primitives showing up your record of taking a few thousand years to wipe out the Goa'uld." Jack said, sarcasm dripping venomously from his words.

"This is neither the time nor the place for arguing. Now gentlemen, what can we do for you." General Hammond said peaceably.

"We have held many council meetings since there have been power changes that are now affecting the Tok'ra. A lot of these changes have been implemented by you, and though the Goa'uld are weakening, so are we."

"What Malek is trying to say is that we need friends, those that have proven valuable in the past. With the Tollan no longer around and the Nox the peaceful pacifists, we are looking to liaise with you. With a view to a better Alliance with you this time than last, and also a better and shared understanding." Jacob said. He knew Jack would resist the idea. He liked Jack a lot. He had been his little girl's commander for a very long time and she had remained alive which was testament to his intellect and skills, much as he tried to hide them.

"No, you guys wandered off into the big black nowhere, no goodbye, just a sneer and a lot of disrespect. No thanks for keeping you guys going for so long. You use and throw people away. You are no different than the Goa'uld in that respect." Jack said bitterly. He had worked hard, put his life on the line for, and tried to be as diplomatic as he could to be turned away. He was pissed and he wasn't about to be quiet about it.

"Our hosts have free will." Malek said looking at Jacob. "I thought you had all been told this from the beginning of the first alliance."

Jack poured a cup of coffee, "That wasn't what I was talking about. You used us for all the help we could give you, and not even counting what Kanan did to me, you discarded us when you didn't want to know us. You can't discard your allies and expect us to greet you with open arms. All you've shown us is that we are useful when you want us to be, but that we are expendable. You can't have it both ways. If you want us as allies then you are going to have to be serious about it."

"The council have or they would not be here." The voice wasn't of any of the people seated at the board room table. The voice was of the young blonde man with startling eyes and a regal air.

The room quietened. An air of apprehension took over, Martouf stood at one end of the board room table, facing General Hammond. He stood looking at his friends, knowing that they had to begin opening up to one another and sharing. After a moment of silence he began.

"You all have bigger problems than just a shift in the powers of the lower system Lords. Anubis is gathering his forces in the Menara system. He has 20 small mother ships and his own large personal attack ship." Martouf's voice was low and serious, apprehension colouring his bearing.

"We knew where he was, we did not know that he was amassing a fleet," Malek said. "Nor did we know how large it had become."

"We have at least one operative amongst Anubis's fleet correct?" Jacob tersely asked. "How did we not know this information?" Jacobs's anger had begun to be palpable.

"You have an agent there, a non—blended one." Martouf interjected. "He however is a traitor to the cause, he is giving you a minimal amount of information and only what Anubis wants you to know. He will not be telling you that he plans to find a 'Lost City' which holds a very strong weapon. The traitor also won't tell you that Anubis plans on a sustained bombardment on Earth, nor will he tell you that he has divulged the next five gate addresses of Tok'ra worlds and he knows more. Anubis plans on, after annihilating the Tau'ri, annihilating the Tok'ra too." Martouf felt drained, but he felt he had made some headway into making the two groups work as one.

Jacob lost the colour in his face; Malek lent back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair. The rest of the Tau'ri immediately began visibly thinking. Daniel was cycling through all the historical references to lost cities. Samantha and Jack were more than likely thinking of a special operations tactic. Teal'c, well Martouf had always been left wondering.

"There are lots of lost cities in Earth mythology, but the most well known is Atlantis. An island or small continent known by surrounding cultures as advanced in terms of astronomy and mathematics as well as in cultural pursuits." Daniel thought for a moment as he poured a glass of water. "It is supposed to have been destroyed some thousands of years ago and knowledge of its geographical location has passed into antiquity."

"We have scientists that can help find lost geographical places; we can help you if you agree to help us. We know you have the locations of some planet's gate addresses that the Goa'uld do not know about. Also if there is one traitor there might be others. We would like to use the SGC as a place to test them using a Zatarc detector." Jacob said. Thinking for a moment Jacob added, "I am sure there are other ways to help you also." Jacob looked at Malek and instead of a disapproving glare found Malek was giving him his full backing.

General Hammond fiddled with his glass of water, "I will have to talk to my superiors. I don't think there will be any problems. I do have the authority to allow you to scan for more traitors on base; we can also provide the Tok'ra with quarters to stay in."

"Sir, I think we should also plan on scaling down the odds. 21 against what? The Prometheus, glider and ground support? We will never make it, but if we can find a way to infiltrate the smaller ships and sabotage them…" Jack said having spent five minutes putting the idea together.

Jacob turned to him and saw the potential in the idea and grinned. Malek stared at Jack, he had always thought of the man as a follower not a leader or strategist. General Hammond thought through the idea for a few moments before a shadow passed across his face.

"It's a good idea Jack; we just don't have the resources available." The disappointment in his voice was noticeable.

"Would you have enough resources available if we were to form a united attack force?" Malek offered. Jacob turned to the man next to him, the man who had so vociferously spoken against the Tau'ri prior. General Hammond was taken back and stunned.

"We will have to clear it with my superiors first and should they agree, mixed teams would give us enough to fight the numbers. I will also ask for some special operations teams, the more men we have the better. General Hammond looked determined.

"Daniel begin digging up every thing you can on Atlantis. Carter, dig up plans on the Naquada/C4 bombs, also dig up any and all information on geological surveys pertaining to Atlantis. Jack work with Carter and draw up plans for infiltrating Anubis's fleet. Jacob, Malek, anything you wish to add will be gratefully received." General Hammond stood up and pushed his seat back." Ok people, let's get to it."

Rising from her seat Sam noticed something odd had occurred, the man who had been helping had somehow disappeared whilst they were all busy hammering plans out.

The following day they met up once more in the briefing room, this time instead of an empty table except from the drinks tray there lay maps, geological survey, archaeological surveys, myths and legends, books, print-outs and highlighters. And that was just at Daniel's end of the table.

On Sam's end lay schematics to known Goa'uld attack ships, what they knew of Anubis's personal ship and prior effective bombs. And most importantly there were the schematics for a Naqudah enriched C4 bomb.

Also on the table were the heads of the two members of the SGC, fast asleep. George Hammond looked at the two slumbering personnel and was reminded so much of his grand-daughters that he was loathe to awaken them. Turning to the footsteps behind him he saw Colonel Jack O'Neill.

"So, what have I missed?" he jovially commented smiling.

"Jack, shush, they're asleep." Jack looked over the Generals shoulders. "They look like kids don't they?" An impish delight glinted in his eyes.

"All right campers! Rise and shine!" He hollered.

"I… I just closed my eyes cause they were sore, Jack and that was five minutes ago at 4:30, which reminds me. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in your quarters?" Daniel said whilst Carter simply mumbled and turned her head over, muttering about Martouf.

"Oh Danny boy, it's 07.30 hours." Jack said with obvious glee. "Major Carter!" He yelled once more, this time she awoke with mussed hair and paper sticking to her face.

"Sorry sir, what time is it?" She said eyes still closed.

"07.30 hours apparently." Daniel informed her.

"But I only closed my eyes!" She sighed.

"Meeting is in a half hour Major, Daniel, go; we'll make apologies for the mess later.

Sam all but ran out of the room and down the spiral stair case, whilst Daniel, still bleary eyed muttered thanks and followed slowly in Sam's wake. Jack smiled remembering many missions with the pair of them. Yes, they were, for all their age, definitely resembling a pair of kids.

"Sir Permission to tidy this mess up."

"Jack, ordinarily I'd say go for it, but this seems to be vaguely ordered." General Hammond said looking at the papers.

"Hi George, wow this is a mess. Tell me my daughter didn't do it. Jacob Carter looked at General Hammond.

"Sorry Jake, no can do. She apparently pulled an all nighter." Jacob pulled a face at the thought.

"Malek walked up behind the three men. "What happened? Was there some sort of incident? I see nothing but a disarray of paper..." Malek picked up one of Sam's schematics for the Naquada/C4 bombs "Hmmm. A most fascinating formula." Jacob beamed.

Sam was the first to return and poured herself a cup of hot, black, coffee. Malek sat staring at her.

"I now see what Martouf did when he first met you. I am sorry we didn't tell you of his ascendance, we didn't think it pertinent. "Sam's face changed colour and Malek was astounded.

Ice dripped from Sam's voice as she leaned forward on the table, brought her face next to Malek's and hissed, "The man I loved was not dead, and you did not think it pertinent to inform me? "

Malek looked to Jacob for help but found no quarter there. Malek swallowed nervously. The leashed fury in the Tau'ri' Warrior's voice caused a shiver of fear to run down his spine. To quell the fury in the attractive woman and so he tried a patented look of Martouf's when he was chagrined. "I'm Sorry."

"Don't you dare try to emulate Martouf!" Malek's eyes widened. This was a very passionate woman, no wonder Martouf fell for her. He lowered his head. "I'm Sorry." He repeated, then looking up at her he met her look squarely and said, "If I could undo the past, I would. You may believe that a mistake like that will never happen again."

"Yeah you can keep on saying that until time stops existing. Not going to help you." This time she had stood up.

"Carter." Jack placed a hand on her arm, he'd let her have her fun, but it wouldn't help to keep going. Sam for her part silently sat down and crossed her arms.

"I'm Sorry Major. I know it means nothing now, but please know that I am truly sorry." Malek was visibly shaken by the glimpse of this woman's pain and the knowledge that he was partly responsible for it caused him even more regret and something very close to anguish suddenly squeezed his heart. The look on his face proclaimed that he had just fallen for her. Looking on in disgust, Jack shook his head. No doubt about it; Sam was a snake magnet.

"Okay people, I will begin this meeting. The president and the joint chiefs of Staff have agreed to the requests of the Tok'ra, on the proviso of helping us out." The General looked at the Tok'ra who simply nodded their heads. "Now I would like to defer to Dr. Jackson on what he has been able to find out about the lost city."

"Thank you General. Ok there are two theories one that says that Atlantis was in the middle of a great sea ant the other that is was near Ancient Egypt. Personally I would put stronger faith on the Ancient Egypt theory, given that a lot of activity early in Earths history is within that area. However, with more delving it would make no sense why would a race be that near the Goa'uld?" Daniel took a sip of water and pulled down a blind to show the graphics he had put together.

"Thinking along the lines of Atlantis being both an island/continent of both culture and excellence of warriors, one would assume that if they weren't Goa'uld and were ancients they would have their base far away from Ancient Egypt a well known area of Goa'uld activity. This leads me to the theory of Atlantis being in an ocean. This would be either what are now known at the Pacific or Atlantic oceans. Using geological models of the land masses we are looking at the south of either of these oceans. Other than that I can not tell you a thing. Their weapons maybe vastly superior to anything the Goa'uld had or have, and I would suggest it to be a fairly strong assumption. It isn't a concrete affirmation of what they likely had I am afraid. What I do know is that we have to find it and it is likely in these regions." He pointed to two regions of modern day South Pacific and Atlantic oceans.

"Thank you Dr. Jackson. Malek said thoughtfully. "The information you have provided will be invaluable to our scientists.

Sam sat there staring at the map quizzically. "Um Daniel? Did you not think of Antarctica? We did find a second gate there, not to mention an ancient." Sam looked at Jack knowing she had released bad memories. He simply smiled at her a reassurance.

"Well, um, no I hadn't. And your right! Yes! That's it!" Daniel said impassioned and excited. "It was so obvious! Hell even Jack could have thought of it!"

"Thank you, I think."

"Major Carter, what can you add? General Hammond said to bring the briefing under control.

Sam got up and walked to the front of the room. "Well," she said. "I have been looking at the schematics of all the ships. Based on Martouf's description of Anubis's fleet and the type of genetically built warrior he is using I wouldn't try to attack or infiltrate Anubis's personal ship directly. I believe that such an action would end in a mission failure." Sam looked at the room. Jack looked depressed, Daniel relieved, the Tok'ra intrigued and General Hammond thoughtful.

"We can, however, infiltrate and disable or destroy the 20 motherships he has in his fleet." Sam said with a lighter tone. She looked at Teal'c, but no emotion showed on his face. "I recommend 19 full teams that separate into a and b teams, thus increasing success. A half team will be able to immobilise a mothership. A full team will destroy one." She started a PowerPoint demo to illustrate what she was saying.

"If we place Naqudah bombs at these four computer junctions we can destroy both primary and secondary computers. A secondary team can then place a bomb at a deeper part of the ship. In the engine room." She shifted the presentation to how they would infiltrate. "We will infiltrate through the rings. Two members of the team will transport onto each ship first. They will then either take out the guards if there are any and radio to their teams that it's clear for the rest to transport to the ship also." Malek's eyebrows rose. This was a great plan.

"Thank you Major. Are there any questions?" General Hammond's eyes roved the room until Teal'c's eyes showed more activity. "Yes Teal'c? He asked feeling much like a school teacher.

"How do we get to the Menara System?"

Sam felt like an idiot. "We'll be using Teltac's, four of them." Teal'c turned his head and bowed it satisfied with the answer. Sam berated herself mentally for leaving that out of her presentation.

"Are there any other questions?" Silence reigned supreme. "Alright, Jacob, Malek, how are things going for the Tok'ra?"

"We are currently evacuating to the SGC at the moment, we have screened 26 members so far and all are loyal. The council wishes to thank the Tau'ri for being so accommodating." Selmak said. Malek took over.

"Our scientists and archaeologists are most eager to solve the mystery of Atlantis under the direction of Dr. Jackson. It is not often they get the opportunity to solve a mystery of natural proportions." Malek, much as he was a military man seemed excited at the thought.

"Okay teams keep working at it. Daniel be ready to work with the Tok'ra, Major Carter, you too." General Hammond picked up a folder. "We have found several hospitable planets, some with natives, none within a few days walk of the Stargate. All are primitive." General Hammond gave Jacob the folder with both addresses and reports of the planets.

"We will make sure that these addresses remain safe until such time as all members of the Tok'ra have been tested." Malek said with determination edging his voice.

"Okay folks, you are dismissed." All members, other than Sam, Daniel, Jacob and Malek filed out.

"George, can we talk to you? The council have put forward a proposal." Jacob said seriously, Malek fidgeted whilst looking at Sam as she sorted through papers.

"Certainly Jake, Malek, will you follow me into my office." General Hammond held his door open and ushered the two men inside.

"Wonder what that is about." Daniel said piling his papers together into something resembling order.

"No clues. I suppose we'll find out at some point." Sam shrugged. Her paper work was sorted into two piles one of ship schematics and the other of weapons designs, including schematics for a Naquadria/C4 bomb.

"General Hammond, the Tok'ra council wish to make a council made of the Tok'ra, members of the SGC and also of your Earths main countries." Jacob looked at his stunned friend.

"Wow Jake, that's not small fry, nor is it not permanent." George ran his hands over his head.

"This is not meant as short-term, this is a permanent fixture to stop what happened to the last alliance." Malek said firmly.

"I will have to talk to the president for the council side. However what I have been given jurisdiction over is the formation of Alliance teams in infiltration, Sciences, medical etc." George said hoping that this would be enough until the major players could come forward for the council alliance.

"That will be satisfactory until such time as arrangements can be made with the leaders of you planet for a meeting." Malek said amenably.

As Daniel and Sam left the board room they saw the three men looking rather happy and light in mood.

"What happened there?" Daniel was fascinated.

"Well Daniel, we'll find out soon enough, we usually are the first to know anything." They walked out, arms laden with files and paper.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four.

The trip to the Menara System was as quiet as it could be with 35 men on a Teltac. Some men were silent, others wrote, whilst others sighed and stared at the stars and savored what could be the last hours of their lives. Teal'c sat at the pilot controls, stoic as ever, showing no trace of stress or worry.

"Colonel O'Neill, we are coming up on Anubis's fleet."

"Okay Teal'c put us on the opposite side of the planet to Anubis." Jack walked into the Main cargo bay. "Okay folks, back up from the rings those not on the welcome committee."   
The teams beamed their committees on to the ships and one by one they radioed the all clear. Finally twenty minutes later they were half way through beaming full teams.

Each team beamed over, separated into two teams and dispersed as planned. Some secondary teams had an easy task managing to elude Anubis's Jaffa, others became entrenched in fire fights and had to fall back to the ring rooms, hoping primary teams made it to the engine cores.

Of SG-1, Teal'c and Jack remained on board their Teltac, tying each team's actions together with their plan, parts of teams 7 and 14 had died and partly succeeded. Teams 5 and 12 had already finished as were 7 other teams within a half an hour of beam in. An hour later and all that were alive had returned. Some had injuries from fire-fights and therefore looked more rag-tag than they had when they had started. Others still carried the same look that they had transporting over.

The Tok'ra dealt with the situation differently. Though they were stoic and serious, they apparently, as Jack watched, drank to both celebrate success in battle and the passing of the dead. In all the teams had lost 20 members and it was felt keenly between all involved  
in the Tok'ra/Tau'ri alliance. They now each understood the other much more than they had previously

"Sam, how did things go over there?" Jack said crouching down to her as she sat in semi-stunned shock.

"As well as could be expected, I guess. There were a few Jaffa on the way to the engine room. Daniel was injured. One of the Tok'ra was also injured; he felt he was expendable so provided cover whilst we ran for the engine room. He killed the Jaffa, but he was hurt so badly we had to leave him. When we returned, he had killed himself. There had been a battle, it was obvious he had done so to prevent his capture, with inevitable torture and possible use as a host." Tears flowed silent and unchecked on her face. Jack patted her on her back, knowing exactly how she felt.

The others had similar tales, there were few teams without serious injuries one way or another. Not all had lost members, and each faction had been surprised by the others generosity in battle. Friendships had been forged and the alliance sealed in the blood of  
the dead.

They had moved quite a distance from the fleet of Anubis's ship, they had wanted to see them blow-up and get a definitive count of destroyed and damaged. They had all rigged the C4/Naquadah bombs to go off at the same time. The explosions had proved to be rather impressive as 15 ships exploded into giant balls of orange and white. Jack sat back  
against the wall and dreamt of retirement, one that would actually last.

They knew there were still some motherships left. It left a worry in the back of the minds of the members of the battle worn SG-1. They had to find the lost city. It added to the pressure, if there was some kind of weapon of the ancients they could use on Anubis's ships, it would definitely finish off the motherships.

Days passed and all teams were put on standby. Daniel got sewn up for what felt like the millionth time, only this time he was longing for the soothing touch of Janet Frasier. Life was lived by all, but for all there was sombreness in the air. A person would walk down the hall, only to turn a corner and remember a conversation with a crewman only to realise that now, that crewman was no longer alive, and instead of that memory bringing about happiness, that memory now only brought poignancy.

Sam holed up in her lab, her way of dealing with the trauma of battle. Jack, after a day, was going stir crazy. General Hammond was talking of joining the Tok'ra council in a special civilian capacity. Teal'c continued life as normal. He studied the human response to the  
death of so many of their comrades.

A few weeks after the battle and a week after the Tok'ra settled the majority of people on their new homeworld, Anaria, they called a meeting. The new alliance was approved and discussions with world leaders were underway.

"We welcome you to Anaria, SG-1 and General Hammond, please follow us." Grand Master Garshaw beckoned them and smiling they followed.

Once more they found themselves in the cool, blue tunnels of the Tok'ra. Walking through they found each passageway familiar. Each silently marvelled. Finally they emerged into a high tech briefing room. A long clear crystal table inlayed with holographic images dominated the room at the table were flowing crystal chairs and a few people already waiting.

"We have much to discuss." Anise mentioned with delighted glee, the scientist in her creeping out.

Suddenly Sam was back at the gate room holding Martouf's head in he arms. Pain crept across her features and her heart sped up. Shaking her head she brushed the thought away.

"Major Carter, Are you okay?" Anise said, tact obviously not her specialty.

"I'm fine." It was a curt answer, but she didn't care. If Anise, in Sam's opinion, had done her job, Martouf wouldn't have died such a horrific death.

They sat down, each sorting the files out into an order to make a presentation. The Tok'ra this time would be first to begin.

"We, using data that Dr. Jackson provided to us, have researched both the landmass and the geological records. We have found no evidence of a large island or, as legend suggests, another continent. It does not seem likely that it was reabsorbed by Earth therefore, we must conclude that Earth and Atlantis are two separate planetary entities." One long haired man stated. An older looking man stood up and said, sounding excited he explained. "However, my team did discover something exciting at you Antarctic gate site." He pushed a button and a holographic display of Antarctica, as a small landmass, green and not ice covered, showed up.

"There was activity there and there is something left there that we can not extrapolate data on. This is how it looked back then." A base appeared on the displays. "You may yet find a way out of your quandary. There may be Atlantan technology under the ice." He sat down  
looking at the Tau'ri with a smile.

"Okay we are saved. Erm, how'd we get to the base? It's under a good mile of ice! What do we use a giant hairdryer!" Jack exclaimed sarcastically.

"We propose using a modified Teltac and blowing plasma. Or a portable plasma machine, it will be a lot slower though to excavate using one " The Tok'ra scientists said amenably.

"Sir you weren't far off with your hairdryer analogy. Plasma is super charged and extraordinarily hot gas." Jack looked at Sam and just goggled at her.

"There are so many jokes…"

"I'd use portable plasma dispersers; we need to keep this vaguely quiet from some of the countries of our world." Sam said taking charge of the situation.

"That is unfortunate for you to have to do. We do understand though." Garshaw said standing up, "We will formalise all the plans of the excavation with Daniel, if that is possible."

Daniel simply nodded his agreement. Sam gathered up everything they could, including some copies of the images of the holograms the Tok'ra had placed with a written transcript version of the presentation.

"We appreciate that you came general. You could have left this to your underlings." Anise said, looking at Sam."

"No, these folks aren't my underlings; they understand more about the Stargate and such than I ever will. I am here for a more diplomatic reason. I am retiring from the SGC, but I don't wish to spend the rest of my life doing nothing after all I have been through in the past few years. I believe I could best serve as a bridge between the politicians and military." General Hammond said to the stunned looks of SG-1 and the approving looks of the Tok'ra.

"We will have to discuss it with our council, but I do not think they will disapprove." Garshaw said smiling at the soon-to-be-former-general.

"Okay folks we will have to be getting back to Earth. Thank you for helping us, and for having us. Jack, c'mon." The General said placing his hand on Jack's shoulder.

"Oh, kay."

"Were you serious General?" Daniel asked as they walked down the ramp back on Earth. "Are you really leaving?" They'd been there before, never at such a critical juncture. Nor so apparently at his own hand either.

"Yes Daniel, this time I really am retiring. I need to be more than just a General, and I think I will enjoy working with the Tok'ra in an intermediary capacity." He was quiet and optimistic and everything he hadn't been in the past when considering retirement.

Jack was the last down the ramp and the most solemn. The end of an era had just been announced, and he hated it. Looking at the room, he thought of another general in the boss's chair, he just couldn't get past the chilled feeling he would get at the thought. Gone was the fun joking he'd had. Kinsey and his cronies were likely to put some idiot, by the book man into power who would kill all alliances. He dreaded it.

"Okay folks, you can get some down time whilst our archaeological teams go over the possibilities outlined by the Tok'ra." General Hammond said to a team that felt like family to him.

"The NID aren't behind this are they?" Jack said suddenly.

"No, it's just a choice I had to make." George said feeling paternal towards Jack, the military wonder who had never grown up.

Jack wandered off of the ramp and headed to his quarters. Slumping down on his bunk he placed his head in his hands, finally he allowed the sounds of battle that had been slowly encroaching upon him overtake and surround him he had fought it for a while but dealing  
with it all was no longer something he could put off. The sounds of war echoed in his ears. No matter what torture the Goa'uld devised nothing would be worse than infiltrating battles and nor would be the memories. They had lost a Tok'ra and it was with downtime he would  
allow the emotional fallout to hit him. He had been in charge, these people had died on his watch and for some reason or another, he always paid for it emotionally.

Daniel walked to his office and began looking at the artefacts he had been given or had excavated himself over the years of his career. He sat with one non-descript artefact marvelling at the strange twists and turns his life had taken.

Sam had taken off for a shower before going to her office, feeling the water sluicing down her body she relaxed her muscles, the heat warming her body and soothing aches she let her mind drift. She day-dreamed of herself on a sunset beach, Martouf wrapped his arms around her naked torso. She leant back as his grip tightened and he laid kisses down her back. She heard the slam of a locker door and was rudely brought back to reality and a brief sense of loneliness enveloped her in its icy embrace. She stepped out of the shower wrapping a towel around her herself and walked to her locker, slowly dressing.

Teal'c went to the commissary and picked up a tray full of food. The room was full of people, but in the corner of the room, in semi darkness was a table with no occupants. Teal'c moved to the table and sat down. With relish at being alive Teal'c began devouring his meal.

This had been a long time coming. Though they'd had time to grieve they had never allowed the actual effects of the battle to take hold. Jack certainly hadn't. Forced by General Hammond's announcement, Daniel had become introspective, and was thinking about his life and career. He realised the General's reasoning behind joining the Tok'ra. His career was his life. Daniel could say the same for himself.

The cup was placed on the metallic table, the room, dark as always except for the obvious computer lights and computer flat screens. Lt. Davis stared at the dial and wondered what god he had pissed off to be the idiot with a boring no-action-job such as his. He slumped in his chair and returned to his fantasy of Samantha Carter on a Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition shoot.

Martouf stood looking at Sam's lab. He felt surrounded by Sam and her presence. Reaching out he toughed the edge of her computer, standing up he saw Sam walk into the room. "Your hair is wet." Ha stated and inwardly cringed, was that the best he could come up with?

"Yes, erm, what do…um, what are you doing here?" She faltered not knowing what to say.

"I think we need to talk," Martouf said softly.

Sam was worried, she'd heard that line a few times before and had said it herself a couple too, and it had always been the omen of ill tidings where she was concerned.

"I want to thank you."

Sam now was puzzled by that. "Thank me? What for?" Confusion coloured her voice.

"The day I ascended, I called your name, I knew you were going to use the zat'nicka'tel on me. I knew you would understand what I was asking. I was in so much pain. You wouldn't believe what being a Zatarc was like. Thank you."

"I hated myself for so long after I killed you," she whispered. "It was the hardest thing I ever did. I could see you in pain, I wanted to take it away and I couldn't do anything for you, but kill you." Sam looked at Martouf earnestly.

"I did not blame you for my demise then and I do not do so now. I blame the Goa'uld. They are living in the only manner they can, all things in nature live this way." Martouf smiled. "And the Tok'ra are the check and balance required, as are the Tau'ri."

"I can't believe the difference in you. You were all for killing Apophis and now you are all things are meant to be' I just can't get over this."

"Do not believe for a moment that I did not believe in my words then, nor do I not stand by them." Martouf looked into Samantha's eyes "Is this talk in the difference in me hiding or delaying conversation about our feelings for each other?"

Sam's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. Her heart leapt into her throat and she moved her mouth without sound coming out. Martouf lent on the counter-top and watched this usually articulate woman become a speechless wreck.

"Well I wasn't going to bring that up."

"Why?"

Because we can't do anything about any of the feelings we may or may not have." Sam grabbed her cup of coffee and drained it.

"Would it hurt you to acknowledge them in my presence?" Martouf enquired.

"I don't know."

"Well, although you may not realise it, you already have, when you  
shouted at Malek."

"What?""

"I thought I had just made it clear." He had been sitting on the spiral stairs leading from the briefing room to the gate control room in the briefing room when she had yelled at Malek so many days ago she had forgotten.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Martouf dipped his head slightly."

"I love, loved you, I don't know what tense to use." Sam ran her hand through her hair.

"I am still alive, ascending just changes the rules of living a little." Martouf said amiably.

"Yes, but we can't have a relationship. For gods sake you're ascended!" She shouted frustrated.

"I am sorry. I thought this would help you."

"I'm seeing someone." Her voice was dull and devoid of happiness. Still Martouf looked like a little kid whose puppy had been kicked.

"Oh."

"Yeah." Sam thinned her lips and stared at Martouf. Neither looked especially happy.

"Are you happy?" Martouf said after a while.

"Sometimes I am happy … when I'm not thinking of you." She absently said.

They sat in the room in silence, Sam sitting in shock, Martouf knew better than to say anything. They both started when her lab's phone began ringing. A quizzical look flitted over Martouf's face.

"It's a communications device." Sam stated when she walked to the phone. "Carter … Yes … I'll be there."

She walked to her coffee cup and noticed Martouf had once again disappeared. She shrugged and wandered off.

General Hammond sat at the briefing room table looking at files; he'd thought this assignment would be one of the easier ones. Watch over an old base until retirement. Well it hadn't quite turned out like that, it was though the way that life always turned out.

One by one they each filed in, Jack nodded his respect, and Teal'c quickly bowed before taking his seat. Daniel walked in reading an archaeological file. "General." He said, not looking up. Sam walked in giving a hollow smile before greeting him with a quick "General" She sat down and once more continued thinking over her conversation with Martouf. She didn't realise that she had admitted her feelings to him though.

The Tok'ra filed in and as directed by General Hammond, began their presentation. "As we found out at Anaria, Antarctica had been an outpost some several million years ago. We believe they left some valuable technology, maybe even defensive technology."

Anise, who had been one of the last to enter the briefing room, mentioned, "Personally, I believe it may be a weapon, run from the energies of your actual planet."

"That is supposition Anise. You couldn't possibly know that."

"You are, of course, right, Major Carter." Anise said gritting her teeth.

"We'll have to find out just what those ancients have there though." Jack mentioned.

"If there is such a device in Antarctica, it would obviously be genetically operated, and encoded to them. Ancient technology tends not to be of the push button variety." Sam said.

"You are correct Samantha." A new voice added to the mix, all heads turned to the bottom of the table. Martouf stood there quietly "You do have a problem. There is no one here present with Ancient genetic encoding to access the Ancient weapons."

"But Thor said I had advanced genetics, and I have accessed their technology before."

"The Asgard removal of the Ancients knowledge and their subsequent manipulation of DNA to prevent the rapid aging of any clone will prevent you from using an Ancient weapon It manages to mask the specific DNA sequence used to activate certain sensitive' technologies of theirs. The specific sequence is rare in humans, but it can be found." Jack looked angry, he had never much cared for Martouf, and now his superiority complex was grating on him.

"Well Marty you haven't changed much in death have you." Jack said, Martouf looked in Jacks Direction and glared with just the slightest hint of annoyance and anger at him.

"Jack." General Hammond glowered. "That is enough."

"Sorry sir."

"Well how would we feasibly activate the ancient technology? We are, at present, against the clock and looking for people who have the sequence isn't something we can do against the clock." Sam said looking at the table.

"Repositories" Martouf said simply. The room, filled with people, became once more quiet as 10 sets of eyes stared at the ethereal person. "If Jack were to use the repository it would over rule the Asgard's genetic manipulations."

"The last repository a) almost killed Jack and b) was found to have had all of its energy depleted on further examination." Daniel said hitting his pen against his head thinking.

"But there may be one at the ruins we recently found." Sam said, inspired.

"I will go through it again …" Jack began.

"But …"

"No Daniel. I'll need someone who can translate Ancientese when I start saying stuff like cruvus." Jack said.

"Are you sure you want to do this Jack?" General Hammond interjected.

The Tok'ra looked at one another. It was apparent that these Tau'ri had experience of the ancients and their technology, and they seemed to have a very strong bond with the Asgard. It appeared the Tau'ri had managed to ally themselves with a couple races that could effectively wipe the Goa'uld out of existence, a somewhat unsettling thought.

"Well," the conversation among the Tau'ri continued unabated, "anyone with a snake in them the repo-thing won't work with. Daniel has to be here to translate me. Sam has to be here because she is the only one who can make sense out of what I am likely to be building, not to mention, don't go getting to many ideas Major, she can also relieve me of duty and take over." The Tok'ra looked at the greying man and was astounded at the lucidity of thought from a man they had always thought of as slightly stunted. They had clearly underestimated him.

"I can modify it."

"What?" Anise said in sudden response.

"As part of the Ascended, Martouf can modify the repository, so as not to create a harmful overload." Sam said as the pieces of the puzzle began falling together in her mind.

"Why?" Anise said. Eyes looked for a few moments and then decided to ignore the question, as no one thought the question had any merit.

"I can modify it to not damage or overload Colonel O'Neill's mind. He will get a small portion of the information, that information will be relevant to the continued survival of the Tau'ri race."

"How small?" Jack said jumping up out of his seat slightly worried. "I won't be needing a translator for the rest of my life will I?" Alarm tinged hi voice as it escalated in pitch.

"Well …" Martouf said deliberately baiting the Colonel.

"Martouf." Sam said in a warning tone, which reminded Martouf of the hundred or so times Jolinar or Rosha had done so when Martouf had teased them.

"No," He glared at Sam. "You won't need a translator."

"Well, that's that then. To the repository with us." Jack said rubbing his hands together gleefully. Martouf stared balefully; Sam grew pensive whilst Daniel and General Hammond felt as though something was going to go wrong. The Tok'ra were bemused by the humans reactions.

"Against my better judgment, this seems to be the only line of defense and our only logical course. Okay, it'll be a go at 1400 hours. Folks time to get ready, you're all dismissed."

They all left in separate directions, the Tok'ra off to Anaria, Sam to her lab to pick up equipment to measure energy at the repository, there was always more science to be found at one that worked. Daniel to his office to grab books on the Ancients language, Jack left for  
the commissary remembering how hungry he had become the last time he encountered a repository.

Each member prepared alone and each was watched by Martouf before he ascended to the higher level where he currently resided in.


	5. Chapter 5

This chapter is dedicated to the memory of my mother who died October 27th 2004, she wanted to read this story, but time, fate and God were against her.

Chapter Five.

Preparations had to be made, equipment put in boxes, plans finalised. Sam was in her lab once more. Her equipment was already in its box, already stacked with the myriad of books Daniel intended to take with them to translate.

"Samantha."

Sam's head shot up. Some distractions really weren't unwelcome. "Martouf." She became mesmerised by the coolness of his eyes belying the warmth of his personality. "I wasn't expecting you back so soon."

"I thought perhaps we should talk some more."

"Oh." She slumped slightly. "Perhaps we should do this in my base quarters; they are a little more comfortable than this."

"If you will feel more comfortable there, than by all means."

They walked in silence to Sam's quarters. It wasn't far to the sparse, but warmly painted room that served as her quarters. Similar in design to quarters offered to the guests of the SGC, it had a mahogany bed, a small mahogany table, and a microwave.

"These are nice quarters. It is pleasant to think of you in such a warm place, your superiors have decorated it well for you."

"I did it myself." Sam said, looking at her quarters. "I asked permission, of course, but I wanted a space of my own."

Martouf looked at her in a new light. "You did well, my love." Sam paled. "Was it too soon? You did tell most of a briefing room you loved me."

"I know." She looked at the floor; she had no idea of what to do.

"I should leave you alone, it was wrong of me to bring this up." Martouf felt desolate; he was not the only person feeling it either.

"No! I never acknowledged my feelings for you and you died. Hell, I never acknowledged that I loved Lantash and he died, also. I loved both of you and losing both of you was the hardest thing I've ever had to live with because I had to walk away each time. You were integral to me, and I've never told either of you how I felt, so the least I can do is acknowledge it now."

"It was the one thing he wanted to know," Martouf said quietly.

"And I never had the integrity to tell him whilst he was alive. Now he is dead. I hold so much regret over that. That I never gave him the peace of mind that his feelings were reciprocated. It's one of the worst regrets of my life." Tears coursed down her cheeks, and Martouf felt useless; he could no more wipe away her tears than he could alter her feelings.

"He knew then as he does now."

Sam looked up. "What?" Her voice was quiet, like a child's.

"He is with me. Lt. Elliot ascended. Oma is, most of the time, everywhere, it seems. She offered Lt. Elliot the opportunity to ascend as he had given his life to save others, and Lantash ascended also. Lt. Elliot then asked for Lantash to return to me, which was something both apparently wanted. Elliot felt that it was something Lantash deserved."

Sam sank onto her bed and breathed heavily. Her mind was a blur, a haze of either everything going through too fast, or nothing at all in her mind. Relief that Elliot and Lantash had in some manner survived coursed through her. _Lantash was blended with Martouf?_

"You said Elliot asked for Lantash to be given back to you?"

"Yes."

"Did that happen?"

"Yes. Lantash hasn't wanted to come out just yet. He was afraid of rejection. He believed it was just me that you had developed feelings for. He is very passionate, while also being somewhat shy. If you can remember, when we were alive, it was mostly me doing the talking," Martouf said, laughing

That's not funny, Martouf! Lantash shouted at Martouf. Martouf winced, he may well have ascended, but Lantash could still make his head hurt.

"Are you okay?" Sam's voice carried concern. She got up and went to touch Martouf only for her hand to go through him. _Well that was disturbing._

Martouf smiled. "I am fine. Lantash, quiet though he is on the outside, is a little loud on the inside. He is very happy that you returned his feelings, Samantha. He feared you didn't. He knew in his last hours that you cared deeply.

"I'm so sorry." Sam turned her back and began crying. Lantash, seeing this woman so distraught, took over from Martouf.

"Please, do not cry. It may have taken a while for your affections to be aired, but I am glad that you have now voiced them and to know that they are true. I would rather that, than they were aired while I was dying and proven to be false, provided only in the comforting of a dying being." Lantash suddenly understood how useless Martouf had felt. He desired to wrap hold the upset woman in front of him, with tears running down her face silent and unchecked, in his arms and to kiss and comfort her. There were times he hated being ascended, and times he wished to be mortal and a physical being once more.

Sam slept fitfully, memories of the past haunted her. In her mind the battle still raged. They had been deployed to the ruins that Daniel believed housed a repository. It had been there that they found Martouf waiting for them. After Martouf guided SG-1 to the repository that had been manipulated Jack had placed his head in it. The group of intrepid explorers watched whilst Jack endured an experience he would rather not have. Nothing really could prepare for what those things did, but all the while Sam took energy reading and marvelled at how much energy it took.

"Since this particular transfer is limited it will mean there is enough energy to manipulate the probable weapon under your Antarctic shelf." Martouf said to Sam as they heard the whine of engines. A few moments later Jack hit the ground and the transfer was complete. They heard the first evidence of weapons fire and running for the gate, they encountered the blasts. Were they any closer the staff blasts from gliders would have lifted them off of their feet.

They returned home only to be told, while still standing on the ramp, that they were to go straight to McMurdo. NASA had sighted Anubis's fleet of ships and Earths last hope resided with the Ancient device uncovered in Antarctica. The journey was long in many respects, but in others it was too short. Sam's mind was on other things, in different places and even times, some she had lived in, some Jolinar had left her. Before she knew it they had touched down and were talking to the Tok'ra about their operation. But Sam listened to none of it. When it came to Martouf, she could no longer compartmentalise.

Her thoughts ran wild 'We all want to know the future.' She thought, 'Those that don't are naïve or the unhurt. With Martouf, I knew that one of us could die, I never dreamt it would be me killing him, so when it happened, I ignored it. I ignored the pain and the situation. When he returned; the pain hit me like a freight train.

I want to know the future. Do we die? Is their a place for me and Martouf? Can love with an ascended being work?

The battle has begun and is raging over head with losses on either side, no doubt. ... I feel such distance, as if I am not even a part of the battle. '

Jack sat in the chair and as it suddenly activated, each member of the team, as well as several Tok'ra, stepped back. Not with fear, but with astonishment. Sam was quiet, but rapt, all other thoughts were eliminated by this development as hundreds of glowing… orbs? Soared upwards, and towards the sky, so many that Sam had to shield her eyes, the light so bight. Then total radio silence. Minutes, that felt like eternities, one after the other, passed before they heard General Hammonds voice. Anubis was defeated, presumed dead.

For what Martouf had always believed to be ephemeral beings, they had a rather physical existence. They themselves were much like the Tok'ra in that they had a council of elders. And it was to them that Martouf now made a request.

"You do realise this is a permanent procedure normally used as a punishment, not that we haven't considered it." A man younger looking than Jack O'Neill stated.

"I do, but this is my only option."

"We can't decide this immediately." The man said.

"When will I know?" Martouf asked, a frown furrowing his brow. He wasn't worried, but things had a habit of just 'happening'.

"You will know when the process is complete," was all that was said by a female member of the council.

Oma Desala, who had been standing by her protégé gently placed her hand on the small of his back. "Come, you won't get anything else from them."

"Why did you do it? Why did you help me to ascend? You you always ended up in so much trouble for the others, none so much as Daniel. Why did you help me? And why are you helping me now?" Martouf asked, sitting on a bench in a place that looked much like an Earth park, something Sam had once shown him.

"You sacrificed yourself, for the greater good. It was a quality I thought we should have here." Oma said, looking at Martouf honestly.

Martouf looked at her. "Thank you." They sat in silence, nothing was left for either of them to say. "I think I want to be alone for a little while." Martouf was unusually quiet. Thoughts of what the future may or may not hold played out in his mind, some leaving him uneasy. Others filled him with joy.

Sam sat in the helicopter watching the debris of so many of the sraft used in close quarters battle. Aerial burns scared the pure Ice forever now on the white field of the Antarctic ice field. Many of her fellow Air Force colleagues were being moved off in stretchers, many seriously injured, a few gravely so. Thus was the price of the safety of the world paid. How many children were now minus a parent because of this fight? If she ever had children, would she want her career? On the opposing hand, if the fight hadn't been fought they would all either be dead, in which case there would be no children ever again, or they would all be on their knees bowing in slavery. Neither thought was too appealing.

The flight to Australia was short, and from there they were loaded up to long haul carriers and flown to the States. She didn't think, her mind during the flight was blank, occupied by any other thought other than the battle she had on some level been participating in. She hadn't, in her mind, been part of this fight, but the feeling flowing through her was the same as if she had taken part in days long fire-fights. Perhaps she wasn't ready to accept what she had been though, or perhaps because she wasn't in the direct front line she was on the periphery. She looked at Jack who was reading a report he had been given in Australia. Daniel was sitting and just staring at the ground. He was obviously thinking, and Sam wondered about what, whether it was all the battles he had been a part of or something else. Teal'c sat stoically looking into the middle distance. To a casual observer prone to localised blindness, he would have appeared to be at parade rest. It was only in the slump of his shoulders that told you he, too, was exhausted by all he had seen and been through. Perhaps they would be allowed a few hours down time when they returned to the SGC. Sam's eyes returned to the aircraft and its dingy green walls. Nothing changed there either.

Relaxation however wasn't on the SGC's list of priorities. or rather those within the American government, who knew of the Stargate programme would want to know everything, which meant hours of tedious reports, both written and verbal. Sam sat talking it through until her throat hurt. They gave her a drink to sooth her throat and continued unabated. After five hours, they were finally through with her. They had many groups of interrogators, so they had interrogated SG-1 simultaneously. Sam made a move to go to her quarters on base, only to see Jack in the corridor waiting for her.

"Hey." He ran his hand through his hair and seemed like he was finally winding down. "Me, Daniel and Teal'c are going for a drink, and it isn't fair to leave our resident genius out of the loop, so what do you say? You can take me for all the money at pool again."

Sam looked at her superior officer and something her father had told her when she was younger came flitting back to her memory's surface _"When your superior asks you to do something as a group, treat it as an order, Sammy." _ She sighed, all she wanted was some sleep, exhaustion was a difficult thing to get along with but knowing that she would seem surly if she told him how she felt, she quickly agreed.

The night passed in a riot of noise and jokes, the usual way men covered their insecurities. This was all she had been left with now that Janet was dead. Sam still couldn't believe that last year they had been celebrating her birthday, this year she was gone, no birthdays, and no celebrations. Nothing accorded to the living was accorded the dead and that was something she had hated from the moment her mother had died.

All Sam wanted was a bed; it didn't even have to be comfortable. Just somewhere oblivion could over take her.

They were talking up Jack as a hero, no details of course, to a waitress. Jack was doing his best to appear modest, but really he was gaining an ego boost from it, Sam smiled thinking of it, she couldn't fault him for it, it was one of those rare times that praise and accolades were really earnt, and Jack had definitely earnt it. Sam smiled, shrugged her shoulders, and eyed the pool table.

"Oh, no, Sam, I am not near drunk enough to be beat by a girl in a game of pool."

And there it was. She was the girl. Not one of the gang, or even a friend. She was smart and capable and that was what she wanted to be appreciated for. She had, had it twice, one had died, the other, well he was in Antarctica, helping the other Tok'ra, both were from that group of aliens. Perhaps age helped men understand women were their equals, or maybe human men never would understand it. Their egos were so fragile that they felt the need to constantly take care of the woman to the point of making her obsolete. Unless, of course, it was something they didn't want to do. She rubbed her hand over her face. She didn't want to be here; she was going to leave.

"I'm sorry guys, but I have to go. I'm tired, and I haven't slept in days. I'm the one person you don't need for company right now," She said, standing and placing a twenty dollar bill for drinks she hadn't drunk.

"Oh now come on, Sam, the night is young. We haven't even played pool," Jack said, almost whining like a kid.

"Well, hey, chalk this one up to a game you won. You can tell everyone on base you finally won, and I'll back you up in the morning." She really wanted out of the alcohol air, the perfume fumes, and loud jarring laughter a group of college girls in the corner of the restaurant were emitting.

"Do you need someone to drive you to the base?" Daniel asked, concern for his friend tingeing his voice.

"Oh, come one Danny, not you too." Daniel blushed, he hated being put on the spot, but it looked like he didn't especially want to be in the room either.

"That would be nice," Sam said, smiling at him. She grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair as did Daniel, and they walked out together. As soon as they opened the door, they felt the blast of cold air hit their faces. The temperature had dropped, and no matter how warm the day had been, there was little of that now in evidence.

They moved to the car, and neither talked for five minutes until Sam broke the silence. "It was her birthday today." She stared ahead of her, seeing nothing.

"I was waiting for you to say that, I know you two were very close. Are you ok?" Daniel said, briefly looking at his passenger, but maintaining some focus on the road.

"It's not fair, not after all the lives she saved. Hell, she even helped to build one for Cassie and that was how she went?" She hadn't said anything about it for months. She was always a little too busy, but tonight there was no tangible threat to earth, and even the thought of Martouf wasn't helping to distract her.

"Perhaps it was better this way, than some long, lingering death. She would have hated that, you know." Of course Daniel would have known that about her. They had been having a discreet liaison for a while, no one was supposed to know, and no one had. He had grieved alone, or would have had Sam not known. Daniel had stayed at her house a lot in the first month after Janet's death.

"I'm sorry to drag this up." Sam now felt bad; she didn't mean to make Daniel suffer.

"You didn't grieved while I was, did you?" Daniel said quietly.

"No, not really, you needed a friend, someone strong to help you." Daniel smiled. She was self-sacrificing to the last. A true friend.

Cheyenne Mountain was coming up fast, and both of them knew they would soon be parting company. They didn't have too long left to say anything of consequence that night.

"If you want to quietly grieve, and take your time, she wouldn't be angry, but she would get pissed if you stayed in one place with your life. The one thing she wanted people to learn from her was to be brave enough to attempt something, even if you ended up failing." Sam looked up at Daniel, tears drifting down her face and smiled.

"She was like that wasn't she? She was never really afraid of anything. Saved our hides so many times, that attitude, too. If someone said, you can't, she said, well, we'll see. Everything was open to be tried, and try she did. Made her a great friend. I miss her." The car fell silent and Daniel reached for his pass. They had made it to the complex, and Sam hadn't even noticed.

They were waved through that checkpoint and then through a few more security checks before they reached the parking area. All in silence, quietly reflecting on a remarkable woman. Daniel parked at the car park and allowed Sam to get out.

"Are you going to be okay?"

Sam smiled tiredly, running her hands through her hair. She sighed with a loud exhale of air. "Yes. I'm gonna bunk down in my base quarters and get a good long sleep." She smiled and rolled her shoulders. "I'll see you tomorrow. Night, Daniel." She smiled wanly again and walked off through the doors to the Cheyenne Mountain complex.

The journey to her quarters seemed to take far longer than it did during the day. Sam shrugged to herself, perhaps time was different if you were emotional or tired. She ran her hands over her face. Several of her colleagues saw her and smiled, and she smiled wearily, distracted by tiredness. Reaching her quarters, she swiped her card and entered.

Greeted by darkness, she moved around putting on the minimal of lighting needed to change into the t-shirt and shorts she kept for when she had to stay on base. Brushing her teeth she looked at herself, but saw nothing. Her mind was whirring so fast that nothing was registering, and a blank glazed look settled over her face. Finishing up, she threw cold water over her face, towelled it off, and moved to her bed. She sat on the side and already closing her eyes, she took off her watch and socks before swinging her legs onto the bed and lying down.

Her alarm went off rousing her from a warm and seductive dream. Turning over with a sigh, she almost fell off the bed, in alarm; there was a man in her bed.

"Who are you?" She yelled jumping out of the bed, staring at the slumbering, naked figure in her bed. She knew she hadn't drunk enough to have picked up someone, and looking at herself she saw she was in sleep clothes. So who was playing a joke? The still sleeping male turned over, and as she had taken the only blanket on the bed, he was left draped in a sheet. Her jaw dropped. She knew the man, and had dreamt that night of him.

She stood there for moments or minutes, she had no clue as to which. Slowly, the man stirred and opened his eyes to see Sam.

"Samantha." It was so quietly said that she almost hadn't heard it. "Samantha? What are you doing here, how are you here?" Glancing around his jaw dropped whilst Samantha's eyes boggled. Sitting up he tried to say something that fit the circumstance, but nothing came to mind. He looked down at his lack of clothing and a blush rose up. He spoke quietly.

"It must have worked."

As the words hung in the air, Samantha was puzzled and Martouf began wrapping the material of the sheet around his body, more for her than for his own modesty. Prior to joining forces with the Tok'Ra, he had been a part of a culture that hadn't been encumbered with modesty.

"Just what are you talking about?" Samantha asked, confusion colouring her voice.

"I asked the Ancients to make me mortal again, my Samantha," he said as he walked to her. She stood frozen her eyes wide, almost disbelieving that the opportunity to have this man had landed in her lap. "I spent an eternity…

"Four years, 6 months, and 7 days." Samantha interjected.

"An eternity, and for a while I was content. I knew you would be safe, you were to smart to be captured, you had Jolinar and Rosha's tenacity within you along side your own intellect. But then I saw that you still loved me and I needed to see you. After that, I heard about the problems you were having with Anubis, and I needed to help. I needed to be with you. I thought just being around you would be enough, but soon it became clear that I needed to touch you, to physically be near you." He sat down on the edge of the bed and sighed.

Samantha stood looking at the man who had sacrificed so much just to touch her. "You sacrificed … that much to… to…" She couldn't comprehend it.

"To be able to hold you in our arms. And really it wasn't that much. Not to us, at least. He smiled up at her.

"So, now what? Do you go back to the Tok'Ra? There have been some large changes there." Samantha paced while she talked. "Do you remain here with the SGC.? There are an amazing amount of questions to be answered."

"I had thought to put them off for a while and enjoy touching you." Martouf grinned like a young boy.

"And what about Lantash? How does he feel?" Samantha said.

Martouf lowered his head for a moment, when his head rose he spoke in the more husky tones of Lantash. "We are both in agreement. We wasted much too much time delaying anything last time." Lantash, unlike Martouf, was bold and intuitive, and he searched Samantha's eyes searching for what her answer might be.

A loud beeping noise distracted them both. Samantha, relieved at the reprieve, walked over to her alarm clock and shut it off before the beeps gave her a pounding headache.

"What was that, is it a warning of some kind?" Lantash spoke, breaking the silence.

"No, it was an alarm to tell me to get up and ready for a days work. I have a briefing in an hour. I need to get dressed." And there was the crux of their problem. Where she had gotten undressed alone, she now wasn't. Wrapping the blanket around her tighter, she went to her wardrobe and grabbed some BDU's. Glancing at Martouf, she realised that he would have a problem. Glancing at him again, she guestimated that he was roughly Daniel's size. She made a mental note to call him and get some clothes for Martouf. Smiling she said, "I'm just going in this room to get dressed and I'll be out in a few minutes." Sheepishly, she dived into the room leaving a rather bemused Martouf.

A short thirty minutes later, Samantha came out of the room with her hair still damp, but dressed. "I'm going to get you something to wear," She explained as she picked up the phone and quickly she dialled Daniel.

"Hi Daniel…No I haven't read that paper, and yes I did have a good night's sleep…Look, Daniel, something has come up….No, I am not sick, just let me talk…Sorry I didn't mean to snap…Yes, we can talk about that later. Listen, Martouf has descended…Excuse me but that was my ear." She was smiling, so Martouf began to relax again as they both loved Samantha's smile. They listened as her conversation continued. "Well if you let me get a word in edgeways, and leave my hearing at only slightly impaired, I'll tell you why I called. Do you remember what you were wearing the last time you descended? …Exactly my point. Right, thank you."

She replaced the receiver and laughed at the end of the conversation. Daniel really was like a brother to her, and there was a small part the enjoyed teasing him at times. "He'll be along shortly." She quickly ran a brush through and a hairdryer over her hair and was just finishing putting them away when there was a knock on her door. "And that, will be Daniel," she said.

"So, how is he? Can he remember anything?" Daniel said quietly, as he stood on the threshold holding a bundle of clothing.

"Yes, he doesn't seem to be suffering the amnesia you did." Sam waved him in and closed the door quietly behind her.

"Hello, Daniel," Martouf said. "Yes, my memory and that of Lantash are fully functioning. Because of the mind control the Goa'uld used on me, the Ancients, or the gate-builders, decided not to erase my memory." Daniel smiled.

"Ah right, well, erm, yeah. These are yours, erm, don't worry about bringing them back to me. I think I had better get back, because Jack is likely to swing by my office," Daniel said.

"You've been here all night?" Samantha asked.

"Yeah, didn't see much point in returning home, and you still didn't tell me why you came here, and not your house. It would have been more direct a route from the restaurant than Cheyenne"

"Well I wanted to lie in as much as possible, and being on base makes that possible. And I didn't want to go home, didn't want to have the memories and dreams of battle invade there as well." Sam said, by way of explanation. They were by the door and Daniel's hand was curled around the handle.

"As I said, I better go. We have a briefing in 30, so I'll see you then." Daniel opened the door and ducked out quickly. Looking back into the room Samantha saw why. Martouf had began throwing the clothes on and had lost all sense of modesty in the meantime.

"We'll have to go to the briefing together and announce your 'arrival'," Sam said to Martouf, as he finished by putting the shirt on over the plain black T-Shirt.

"Oh." His face fell, and he had the sinking feeling he wouldn't be getting much alone time with Samantha that day.

They were the first to enter the empty briefing room. Sitting down together they looked at one another. They both wore frowns. This could go one of two ways. And if it went wrong, it might just go wrong for future alliances with the Tok'Ra

The General who usually looked where he was going, was distractedly reading SG-11's report when he tripped on the last stair as he came up from the gate room. Martouf was the first out of his seat and helped the man up. "Thank you… Martouf?" He was startled. "I thought Ascended beings were ephemeral beings?" The general said, smiling graciously at the more solid man before him.

Soon the men of SG-1 walked into the briefing room. First Teal'c who sat down at the table in typical stoic fashion, after bowing slightly to Martouf and the General. Daniel, was surprisingly not the last to appear. He had ulterior motives in wanting to see Jacks face when Martouf sat down in a seat. Jack was the final person to enter the room, glaring at Martouf he sat in his seat. Shortly after, Martouf, who had remained standing after helping the General sat also, Jacks jaw dropped.

"Colonel O'Neill, is there a problem?" General Hammond asked sternly.

"Well no, not if an ascended being can touch things and it be considered normal, then no there is no problem." Jack said, still staring at Martouf.

"I have returned to the mortal plains of existence," Martouf clarified.

"Oh." Both Daniel and Teal'c smiled slightly.

"Well people we are here to discuss what to do about Martouf's return, and where he is staying, and also when we tell the Tok'Ra, that is assuming you wish to return to the Tok'Ra. And also SG-1's planned trip to P3X 395."

Just as Samantha got up to speak, the alarms went off and sergeant Davis's voice rang out. "Incoming traveller." The six person group walked briskly down the stairs to the control room where Davis elaborated "Tok'Ra IDC, sir."

"Well open the iris, son." General Hammond said gently, as though coaxing a child.

The figure walked through the event horizon as though taking an everyday stroll through a park. Samantha's face broke out into a grin at the recognition of the first of two men who had come though, running out of the room, disregarding all regulations, she ran to the gate room. "Dad, how are you? Is everything ok?"

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. Let an old man recover from the trip." Jacob said smiling.

"Are you alright, Dad?" Sam was now concerned.

"He is perfectly fine, he passed his last medical." The other visitor said.

"Thank you, Malek, couldn't let me pull the wool over my daughters eyes, huh." Jacob said laughing.

"Everything is ok then, this is semi social call then?" Samantha said.

"Not exactly, Sam, there is something I need to ask of you," Jacob said cryptically.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Dedicated to all the women who have helped, appraised and praised me over the year it has taken to write this story. Thank you to my Mum who always encouraged, to Kate and the Nag Queen aka, Steph for being my companions on this journey. To Wolfy! Girl, thanks for all your conversations.

A/N. This is the first finished story in a possible trilogy of stories. Thank you for experiencing my journey.

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The room was silent; six pairs of eyes stared at her intently. Sam took a deep breath.

"I'm not sure." She uttered into the vacuum of the room.

Jack's jaw dropped. "Not sure! Several years back you said never again, now you change your mind? Is anyone sensing mind control? Does anyone remember what the last Tok'Ra did to me? Are you alright, wait, of course you aren't..." General Hammonds are slammed into Jack's chest holding him back as he strode towards Sam with utter disbelief on his face.

"Things, and people change, Sir." Sam said quietly. She felt the room closing in

around her. "I am just really unsure. I need time to think."

Selmac came forward. "Of course. Take some time, but time is of the essence." Selmac intimated.

"Excuse me sir, I think I need to think about this off base can I talk to you privately?" She said rising from her chair and turning to the man she had spent many years of her life respecting.

"Of course Major Carter, please wait in my office," He turned to face the two Tok'Ra, I am sure you are aware of the drill around here, the med team would like to see you. The rest of you are dismissed." He noted that Martouf hadn't come down to the control room and had thought it a prudent thought. Moving to his office he saw the remaining group of people disperse.

"Samantha," He said as he walked into his office. "What can I do to help you?"

"Sir, I need to take a few days out from active duty to consider my fathers proposition. I would also like to take Martouf with me. His accumulative years and experience may help me make a balanced decision."

General Hammond looked at Samantha with a fatherly compassion. "Are you sure he won't try to change you mind?"

I am certain that he won't. Her will help, and probably guide. But he only wants what is for my benefit."

"I can't think of any reason why not. I will have to communicate with the president regarding the whole situation, but I will call Martouf an impartial advisor." General Hammond looked up at the woman in front of him, a woman he had known for a long time and wondered what her decision would be.

"Thank you sir." She said quietly and waited to be dismissed.

"Go on, Sam, get ready." Hammond said smiling.

The drive home was quiet; Martouf sat in the passenger side of the car and watched silently as things he had never seen passed them, but knowing that Samantha had other things on her mind kept his and Lantash's questions to himself.

Samantha on the other hand sat drumming her thumbs on the wheel of the car, wishing Martouf would ask an easy question, something she could answer with a definite answer.

"You are quiet, my love." Martouf stated. Sam continued staring out of the windshield.

"He had to ask the one thing I thought I was so certain on, at the one point in time that… well I am not certain on very much." Sam said.

"Are you certain on us?" Martouf asked quietly. Sam looked at him a brief moment.

"I am, I just don't know what future we have."

"What ever you desire, Samantha, I go where you go, my place is at your side we have spent far too much time apart, now is the time we make up for that." Sam clicked the indicator to go right and into her apartment complex's car park.

"Do you wish to go back to the Tok'Ra?" She asked in a quiet tone as she finished parking the car.

"I am where you are my love, my place now is by your side." Martouf said.

Samantha got out of her side of the car and walked around to the other side of the blue Taurus and popped the car handle of Martouf's door.

"I could have done that." Martouf said smiling. Sam smiled back, though no mirth showed. They walked to the door of her apartment in quiet companionship. And quietly she let them in.

She moved to the kitchen and began making herself some chamomile tea. Martouf went through to the living room and sat on the couch making himself comfortable. A few minutes later Sam came in and handed Martouf a cup of the infusion. Martouf smelt it and wrinkled his nose, before sipping the drink.

"Samantha, is this a poison of some form? It's vile." Martouf spluttered as he put the offending infusion on the glass coffee table in front of them.

"No, but I guess it is an acquired taste." She put her half empty cup on the table and turned to face him. He looked at her, eyes shinning with the love he held for her and brought her into the safety of his arms.

"You look so tired my love."

"I am. I am always the tough and ready soldier that I forget how tiring it can become. I haven't had leave for so long. " She inhaled his scent and suddenly felt relaxed and at home. They stayed that way for hours, her with her thoughts running wild and he gently watching over her, dreaming of a life that held her as his mate. It wasn't until much later he realized she had fallen asleep in his arms.

The following morning she rose from the couch where she and the man she thought of as more than a lover had fallen asleep. She began looking at what work she had been working on and realized that whilst she loved this work, it wasn't the be all and end all of her life, that the man o her couch held an import to her life that was significant, could she, would she even, let go of him, for her career?

She began slowly looking at her life, at the pictures in photo albums, she found that after her fourth year at the SGC she had no longer had pictures taken, no longer were there girls nights out other than with Janet, and now, even she was gone. She became absorbed in the thoughts of her life, everyone she knew died or ascended. Did she want to try something new? Something perhaps a little different.?

"Happy times?" Martouf's voice came from behind her, so wrapped up in her memories and musings was she; that she had been oblivious to Martouf's awakening and moving to her.

"Yes, and friends now no longer with us." Sam said sadly.

Martouf reached out to her and turned her face to him as he knelt beside her, she looked at him and as tears fell from her eyes, he kissed her a kiss that at first was gentle and then as ferocious as a firestorm. Sinking to her knees she wrapped her arms around him and melded her body to his as fingers traced their way over each others backs. Rising Samantha pulled him across the apartment to her room.

Rumpled sheets and moans filled the room and the littered the bed, souls merged and tethered themselves to each other pain that had filled each of their souls was released and joy replaced it.

Lying in bed with the silence prevailing, a decision was made, a momentum was started, and relief was initiated. Lying in the sunny bedroom Samantha's heart was totally given, she would follow her mate to the ends of the galaxy and beyond. She would learn more about him, and she couldn't do it where she was.

Later that day she was making dinner whilst Martouf watched television and discovering more about Earth in the process. Samantha had decided to give Martouf the meal of his life and explain the decision she had made in bed earlier that evening. When finally the meal was made, a Chinese meal of stir fry sweet and sour chicken, sitting down to it they started off with inconsequential chit chat about Earth, about its diversity, and how the planet had recovered so well from the Goa'uld occupation six thousand years ago, that apparently some cultures hadn't recovered near as well.

It was after this discussion that Samantha told Martouf of her decision.

"Are you sure this what you want to do? You aren't doing it for anyone but yourself? "

"I am certain. The work I do can be done anywhere. I can be more than the soldier I am. I can put down real roots and still have elements of the life I have now. There is nothing left at the SGC now, all the friends I made have gone, my team is all that's left, and I will see them still in this capacity, there really isn't much for me now, just you. Will you come with me?" She watched Martouf as she animatedly told him of her plans.

"I am where you are my love, my place now is by your side." Martouf stated reaching for her hand. "Where ever you are, my love, is where I am." Sam smiled.

That night gentle lovemaking tied the tethers of love and emotion tighter, until love exploded stars into the night, and souls became one. They laid in each others arms for hours, not noticing their arms going numb. Togetherness provided the warmth instead of the sheet that lay in tangles at the foot of their bed.

"I am scheduled for a mission tomorrow, just back to the planet we found out you were still 'alive' on." Sam said finally looking Martouf in his eyes. He leant up slightly and brushed her lips.

"Then we are going to the base once more?" Martouf ran his hands along her warm body from hip to shoulder stopping and caressing it, before running to her chin and curling his hand into a fist and gently rubbing it on her jaw bone.

Sam moved into Martouf's body and lay head on his upper arm and traced patterns on his upper body.

"I will miss you whilst I am gone." It was spoken into the silence between them.

"As will I my love." Martouf replied gently before kissing her soundly and wrapping his arms around her as she slowly fell asleep.

Morning came too soon and soon the bed they had occupied every night Samantha had been off duty. The rooms became devoid of life when they left Even the echo's of their love followed them.

The trip back to the base was quiet and Martouf was tense. Sitting in the car, he carried himself a little to stiff, and his breath was a little to held back. Concern for the woman he considered now almost a mate ran through him. He had always been that way, even when his little sister, many years ago had gone to sleepover with a friend.

Sam kept a watchful eye on him, but her experiences with Jolinar had taught her that this man's behavior was normal and a part of him, whether he liked it or not. He was simply just that caring that he worried.

They arrived at the Base earlier than expected and Sat in the bases briefing room. They looked at each other, and at that point Martouf knew it was decided. She was going to follow through with her plan; it was she that was inviting him along.

Looking at her watch she smiled at him, "Time for me to get dressed for the mission." She stood and smiled again. "I will be back." And with that she turned and walked to the stairs turning her head as she walked down them she smiled again, knowing that whilst her body was once more going through the gate, her heart was safe guarded on Earth.

PX9 697, the plane SG-1 had been on when they had found out that Martouf had ascended and not died. She had been lighting a candle in his memory that day, she remembered. She looked at the small chapel she had been in.

"Come on, Carter, times a wasting!" O'Neill's voice called out and she fell in line with her colleagues, friends and to some degree family. She was going to miss them terribly.

The Town's people of Emedra were joyous see SG-1 once more, they knew that the negotiations with Earth had borne some fruit and they were there to tell them of the benefits they were supposed to reap, once it was all agreed the townsfolk threw a party to end all parties. Jack was certainly in a mood to join in and urged the others to do so also. Sam however kept her own counsel. Quietly she moved off to one side and as soon as everyone was distracted with the merry making slipped off to the small chapel.

Kneeling she took a taper and lit it, slowly she moved it to three candles, lighting each in turn, softly muttering prayers for the safe keeping of each of her comrades.

"What is it with you, Churches and Candles, Carter?" Jack Joke, smile in his voice drink in hand, but Sam did not know this, she had not turned at Jack's voice, but closed her yes briefly.

Opening them she said; "I am leaving Jack." Silence filled the room for long moments.

"Are you sure? I mean they are Tok'Ra!" Jack said quietly.

"Yes." Sam gently replied turning to face her soon to be former CO.

"Hey Jack, Sam there is one hell of a party out there… What are we doing in here again. Why are there three candles lit?" Daniel enquired as Teal'c ever stoically followed.

"Sam's leaving us." Jack Said flatly.

"Oh." Daniel said quietly shocked.

Sam got up, and quietly moved past all of them and walked to wards the exit of the chapel. Once in the arch of the door she turned. "

I need to do this, maybe we can bring about a more stable peace through understanding. There are a lot of reasons to do this and too few against it, I can still carry on with my science work here, I am contactable in case of emergency, and maybe collaborating with the Tok'Ra will produce good results." Sam said looking at them each in turn, Teal'c had only raised a stoic eyebrow. She turned once more and walked out of the chapel.

"Why did she light candle's O'Neill?" Teal'c said finally breaking the silence.

"She was offering prayers of safe keeping for us." Daniel interjected, as he too walked out of the chapel. Teal'c followed somewhat like an overgrown puppy.

Jack turned to the candles, and knelt himself, picking up the used taper of Carters he lit it from the flames of one of the candles Carter had lit and lit two, one for his son, it was his birthday, or what should have been and one for Carter herself. He couldn't understand wanting to live with the Tok'Ra, but she had decided it, perhaps it was something to do with her father, perhaps it was her own damnable curiosity or perhaps it was Marty. But one way or another, he had lost her again. He'd lost her the day of Marty's original death, and now he had lost her because he was alive. Staring at his candles flame, he wondered how many more would leave him.


End file.
